50.3333333 shades of red, green, and blue in equal proportions

Sexual Position Rhombus
Sexual Position – Rhombus

He admired her proportions. She was perfectly dimensioned, measuring 2×1.3333333333333333333×2 cubits. Her face exhibited all the ideal symmetry ratios, and it scored 18 on the von Luschan chromatic scale. They commenced to mate in the tribunal of love.

Initially, they aligned themselves perpendicularly, then parallel. After 600K milliseconds and expending 4186 Joules in the parallel alignment, they adopted a rhomboid configuration that exponentially accelerated the flow of endorphins in their bloodstream.

5500 milliseconds after returning to a parallel alignment, he rotated her 180 degrees on her longitudinal axis, and they maintained a perpendicular alignment. He administered a strike upon her gluteus maximus, expending 4 joules of energy, and then engaged the intestinal avenue.

After securing her carpus with jute, he used the instrument that had been constructed by wrapping its core in filler and then covered by an initial plait and then up to three additional layers–in this case only two, the belly plait and one bolster–and the stock starked with a round piece of wood and plaited over with leather.

Having reached a point where various emissions had occurred and their muscles were overwhelmed by lactic acid, they rested for 240000 milliseconds in overlapping physical proximity. Their respiratory and circulatory systems, which had been operating at high levels of activity, slowly reverted to normative levels. She told him that her limbic system was highly attuned to him, but he had already been seized by a fit resembling narcolepsy.

2 Responses


Just found you, Unpublished Guy, and although worn by a day teaching 8 olds the benefits of sarcasm, and despite my cupboard’s lack of alcohol, I am smiling!! It could be your site or I may be insane! You choose!! Thanks for the lift! I’m looking to improve my own blog…it’s a rant really but it occasional veers towards literary stuff. I wrote an entry called 50 shades of the social spectrum, yours is more amusing…have you read 50 sheds of grey?? Also highly entertaining!!


Although you probably are insane, I’ll choose the site. That choice makes my blog a benefit to mankind.

I never read the books, except for an excerpt online somewhere. I couldn’t really see what all the fuss was about.