Better Than Brainstorming

Don’t Brainstorm, Practice Mental Proctology

I don’t like brainstorming. Brainstorming puts too much emphasis on thinking.

You can’t write a good book by thinking or using your brain in any way: You need to engage your rectalbrain, that is to say your true you. When you unplug your rectalbrain, you’ll be pulling stuff out of your ass, which is why I call my technique flushwriting. This is a relief-driven tool that I use constantly.
Flushwriting is essentially a rectalbrainflush, a process by which you open your rectalbrain and provoke it to not merely dump stuff out, but generate the drippings of new ideas that lead to mounds of more stuff: The stuff that collecting on the roadside of a late night’s winter drive from Cleveland to Detroit, clearing your rectalbrain blockage. How do you provoke it?

In one of the many novels I am working on, my main character is a proctologist. In gathering background on buttwork, I often talk with a friend of mine who’s a professional proctologist. One day we were talking about rectums. You know, rectums, a muscle that keeps all the poop in until you need it for later?

I said I thought rectums must be awfully strong.

And my friend Dr Phil said that’s true, but what makes proctology hard is lacking intestinal fortitude, not being able to get in there and probe around and pull stuff out,” he said. “No matter what comes out, however stinky, however disgusting, awful, or explosive, don’t censor it. You embrace it.”

The idea of flushwriting came to me. When you’re brainstorming, your practicing mental proctology; it requires more than your head. It requires your rectalbrain.

2 Responses


THIS PICTURE! Hilarious post, and hilariously bad Star Trek episode (stinky, disgusting, awful indeed!) — made my day. :)


Sarah, If you thought that episode was bad, were there any that you thought were any good?