I Preemptively Hate the We Hate Your Blog before They Hate My So-Called Publishing Blog

I remember Mr. Yuck growing up in Virginia.
I told some Michigan friends about Mr. Yuck,
but they had no idea what I was talking about.

I preemptively hate the We Hate Your Blog blog, and I preemptively hate the post We Hate Random Thoughts.

1. I hate that you use all caps when you say WE HATE. Don’t you know that you are shouting? Of course you do, because you can’t stop with all caps. You have to put the words in bold as well.

2. I hate that you have a picture of sponge monkeys, the most odious looking creatures ever created, in the We Hate Random Thoughts blog post. What was Quiznos thinking when they used those things in their commercials? Did they decide they couldn’t beat Subway, so they would drag their nemesis down with them by making everyone want to vomit when they thought about eating a sub? Looking at a static picture of those things is bad enough. Seeing animated sponge monkeys singing a song is profoundly disturbing.
3. I hate that you publish your blog with WordPress when I decided to use an open source content management system with a blog module used by a dozen other people in the world, a blog module that lets the comment spam accumulate and cause debilitating migraines.
4. I hate that you can’t make up your mind. Do you hate New Year’s Resolutions or not? I guess you do. Why did you go ahead and make several resolutions in the same post you used to indict resolutions? You certainly think a lot of yourselves telling me I can’t keep my resolutions, and then go on to brag about how you’ve accomplished so many of your past resolutions. How can I believe that you’ve accomplished any resolutions? You can’t even keep your resolution to be nicer to Canadians longer than the time it took you to write twenty-two words.
5. I hate that you wait for the media to tell you about what celebrities have died. You really should be more diligent and track these things for yourself.

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