Ten Dos and Don’ts for Unpublishing Success

#9 Do – Send editors an assortment of thank you chocolates and convections,
even if they have rejected your manuscript.

1. Don’t edit at all. Grammar rules stifle the imagination.
2. Do – In your correspondence with editors, let them know that they would be a fool not to publish your short story. If they can’t see the genius of your fiction, it’s because they have a small, plebian mind, and you’re fiction goes over their head. They should just trust that you are brilliant, based on your persistent insistence that this is the case.
3. Do – Only submit to publications that accept unsolicited story submissions. It saves you the trouble of writing a query letter. Why write any more than you have to.
4. Do – Some ingenious fiction writer’s will have the clever idea of submitting their creative writing on multicolored paper, so it stands out. You will have to one up them by purchasing hand-crafted, textured paper from the local, independently owned scrap-booking store. The best paper will be chock full of whole twigs and leaves.
5. Do – Submit your short story on a manuscript with coffee, mustard, mayo, and pizza grease stains. It demonstrates the hard work you’ve put into your creative writing.
6. Don’t contact the editor every other day asking about the status of your fiction manuscript. Contact them every day.
7. Do work on the list of fiction stories you may eventually write. Work on building an extensive list of short stories.
8. Do – Save money. If your short story is less than 10 pages, fold it so it fits in a letter-sized envelope. If your story is more than 10 pages, discard the extra pages so you can fit it into a letter-sized envelope.
9. Do – Send editors an assortment of thank you chocolates and candies, even if they have rejected your manuscript. Crunchy frog and spring surprise work best.
10. Don’t write at all, a surefire strategy for unpublishing success.

If you are interested in actually being published, you should check out the inspiration for this list.

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