Unpublished Guy

Author

Illiterary Fiction – Faces

illiterary writing style - gibbon says, "i am not a monkey"
I am not a monkey

Illiterary fiction excels at showing, showing with a profundity of adverbs and exceptional adjectives. Dictionary inspired descriptions that convey the most erudite worlds. With copious plot twists, illiterary fiction is surprisingly uninspiring.

Her face, bilious …

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Fair Use for Fun and Profit

Copyright Gargoyle

Copyright Gargoyle

When is it OK to rip off copyrighted material? It all depends on the ambiguity of fair use. Difficult to define, but you know it when you see it. Here are some examples of fair use, as far …

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Book Review: Machine of Death

Death by Dr. Zaius, one of many missed opportunities in this anthology of short stories, Machine of Death. All of the stories are about a machine (of death) that tells you how you are going to die. It takes a …

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Neko Case Kung Fu Mashup Literary Writing Prompt

Back by unpopular demand: a video prompt. Now, I’m calling them literary writing prompts. I’m expecting great things, people.

After viewing the video begin writing.

  • Don’t post your fiction in the comments below.
  • If you have a blog or web

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I Had a Dream, a SOPA Dream

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Look into the Abyss

I had a dream that SOPA would pass and the freedom to regulate would prevail.

I had a dream that my two grown children, living in my basement and the spare bedroom, would one day surf …

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Mr. Left and Ms. Right

Mr Left and Mrs Right by Unpublished Guy, an allegorical polemic by a radical moderate

An allegorical polemic by a radical moderate.

Mr. Left always wanted some of Mrs. Right’s Skittles, but she never shared. Mr. Left was always sniveling and whining about fairness. Mrs. Right had a low tolerance for Mr. Left’s complaints. …

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Dialogue Writing Tip for the Hyperliterate

Never use an adverb to modify dialogue. Don’t use words like ejaculate and vociferate. Even better: Completely unmodified dialogue.

“Where are you?”
“I’m over here.
“What are you doing over there?”
“My God, I’m full of methane.”
“Why don’t you …

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Forget Self-Publishing. You-Publishing is the Future of Publishing

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It’s only a matter of time before self-publishing becomes the next traditional publishing, an outmoded, outdated form of publishing. You-publishing is the next wave of publishing. With you-publishing, you publish my novels and collections of short stories. You-publishing can be …

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I Only Watch Movies When Kate Winslet is Naked

Naked Kate Winslet

Kate Winslet Naked

I only watch movies when Kate Winslet is naked. The first movie I saw was Titanic, then I saw Holy Smoke and Quills. I didn’t watch many movies for the next five years. I did watch Eternal …

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Metafictional Allegory, or Not, You Did Not Write Moby Dick

Dear Unpublished Guy:

I usually don’t respond to the pathetic pleas of a person who has made the misplaced presumption that they are a writer. As I indicated in my initial communication, your submission exceeded our gazette’s word count by …

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