Category: Literary Mashed Potatoes

JD Salinger Provides Customer Service

Catcher in the Rye Author Provides Customer Service

JD: This is JD Salinger, Why in Christ’s name have you called customer service?

Bessie (the Customer): This is Bessie Glass. I’m calling regarding my bill. JD: You do, eh? Would you do me the privilege of providing your telephone number or address, Mrs. Glass, so I can look up your account? Bessie: 111-111-1111 JD: How can I help you today, Mrs. Glass? Bessie: I’d like to …

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Klosterman Hyperthetical – Cannibal’s Meta Quandary

Baby FoodBaby Food

You’re reading one of the Chuck Klosterman’s hypertheticals to a friend. You ask your friend to imagine that they have survived a plane crash in the Andes. To survive they must eat people, and if they had to choose, would they eat babies or old people? Does the gender of the meal make a difference?

Your friend thinks for a moment and then asks, “Are the people dead or alive?” If they were …

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Walking Dead Spoof – Twitter Fiction Tweetisodes

Search hashtag #tweetisode to see the latest twitter fiction. This time it’s a spoof of the Walking Dead.…

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William Faulkner, New Millenium Pitchman

Mr. Faulkner Endorses Sound and Fury Energy Drink, Rose for Emily Scented Oil, and As I Lay Dying Foam Mattress

Sound and Fury Energy Drink

I give you the beverage of all hope and desire. I give it to you not only that you may get a strong energy boost, but that you might get maximum hydration and an extra kick of B-vitamins, caffeine, electrolytes, and SOUND AND FURY’s potent rye blend. Because no drink …

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Paul Ryan Goes Fishing

What did I do this summer?

Well, there was all that nomination business, but that doesn’t mean that there wasn’t time for some rest and relaxation.

Paul Ryan Goes Fishing
Paul Ryan tells a tale of a fishing trip.

I went fishing with a couple of buddies. We were hanging out in nice New England town. It was an Island. A resort town called Amity Island. One of my buddies was a crusty old barnacle that was wise in …

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Cormac McCarthy Sells a Time Share

Cormac McCarthy Departs from Timeshare script
Hello The Prospect. This is Cormac McCarthy.

I am calling to offer you the austere chill ushered in by a temporary retreat from societal expectations. The company I represent specializes in epicurean travel and respite from the shrieking madness of the autistic universe and you know something as this economy slouches towards the apocalypse we are offering the absolute best services for the absolute lowest prices.  (deep breath) But I am not calling you to …

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A Publishing Evolution

Evolution is the process by which grammatical and stylistic mutations that enhance the appeal of fiction become more common in populations of writers.

Zaius Reads - A Publishing Evolution
Zaius Reads – A Publishing Evolution

Natural selection in evolution follows from three facts:

  • Extreme variations in talent and skill exist within populations of writers.
  • Writers produce more stories than can be published.
  • These stories vary in their ability to be read and emulated.

These conditions produce competition among stories for readers. …

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Ray Bradbury Creme Egg

bradbury egg

Ray Bradbury was an American fantasy, horror, science fiction, and mystery writer. Together with his brother Tom, he is best known for taking over the family business, Bradbury’s cocoa and chocolate company. In 1978 they acquired 14 acres of land on Mars, where they opened a new factory that manufactured Bradbury’s signature creme eggs.

The Bradbury brothers were concerned with Martian rights and provided an alternative to subterranean Martian life. As more Martain land was …

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David Foster Wallace Gets Serious About Laundry and other Books I Didn’t Publish

Things Will Get Really Out of Control if David Foster Wallace Doesn't Do His Laundry Soon,
Things Will Get Really Out of Control
if David Foster Wallace Doesn’t Do His Laundry Soon

I’ve not published many novels and short story collections. Here are 11 more books I didn’t publish.

  • David Foster Wallace Gets Serious about His Laundry. A morally passionate, passionately moral fiction that tells what it is to have fucking clean clothing. An ironically unironic story about laundry that includes a 7 page footnote describing the manufacturing process and chemical
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Squids on a Wing – Pink Floyd Outtake

Squids, figs, and so many other things before pigs.

I could work hard at completing my novel or revising my short story or writing a novella. Instead, I spent hours creating a half minute video.

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Neko Case The Wall Mashup Literary Writing Prompt

Another Neko Case literary writing prompt mashup. This time for your creative writing prompt, I mashed up Neko Case’s Porchlight with scenes from Pink Floyd the Wall.

After viewing the video begin writing.

  • If you have a blog or web site, you can post your writing on your blog.


  • Make sure to add a link on your blog/web site back to this page.


  • Add a comment below to let everyone know where to
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