Die technik des sandwich-making dramas
Like all great American novels, this novel will have numerous subplots, illustrated by the plot-lines diagram, including five thousand words devoted to a sandwich-making subplot in which a sandwich is systematically assembled and unassembled multiple times until the desired sandwich is achieved.…
Schlafen Ahab and Other Fiction Characters
…
Yog-Soggoth Jr is a native of the Vortex dimension. The dimension is home to Yog’s tribe of Old Ones, who devour the fried skin of their enemies, cooked the way Kassigtha used to make. While in the Human dimension he prefers a diet of zombie brains and root beer.
Although the son of a major Elder, Yog Jr choose to leave his dimension out of curiousity to see more of the multiverse and to experience …
Gerald was born in 1949 near Dresden, Germany. His father, Mr. Krumplegumbledumpling, and his mother, Mrs. Krumplegumbledumpling, fled the East in 1951 under a moonlit sky with the barks of dogs resounding all around. As a result of the harrowing experience, Gerald believed he was a werewolf, and he developed a fear of dogs. In order to cure his son’s fears, his father had him attacked regularly by dogs—dachshunds, chihuahuas, three-legged beagles, Scottish terriers,giant poodles—all …
Continued from Writing on Deck – The Metafiction Myth – Pt1.
After taking her pills, she went to the coffee tap (nothing beats real coffee), but when she pushed the graphical button labeled POUR, the lovely, lovely java that came out was decaf. What would she do now? It was early in the day to start with the whiskey-straight pills …
Utnapishtim on Life Support
I sent out a dove on the …
A room full of writers writing
Gerald entered the writing deck where many of the other guests were already busy developing his myth. Schlafen Ahab was not visible to the naked eye, but Holger Meins walked up and down and around the tables.
As he searched for an empty seat, Gerald looked over the guests’ shoulders and read fragments of what they were writing:
Pip walked down the alley. He had the feeling …
Nyarlathotep, Mighty Administrator of Ancient Health and Dental Plans
http://dominique.signoret.perso.sfr.fr/
Gerald pulled the document from Schlafen Ahab’s drawer and read:
As a member of the Old Ones community, one of the most important benefits you’ve earned is incomprehensible health care coverage. Cynothoglys is the health care program for members of alternate dimensions and metafictional universes and their spawn. Cynothoglys also offers health care programs for transmogrified Old Ones.
The Cynothoglys dental program (CDP) is an …
I’ll have to go all out on some modifications, he muttered as a shambled off to the kitchen to rebuild his sandwich.
Ketchup, a Most Disappointing Condiment
The bread was inadequate. It would need to be replaced with rye. Many did not appreciate rye, but he did. He could not bear the flaccid mushiness of white bread. Besides the bread had been ruined by the ketchup, that abomination of condiments, manufactured for the masses without …
Pit Bull Pleas its Humanity
Ich arf ein pit bull. Arf not a pit bull eyes? Arf not a pit bull paws, which arf bit like hands and twice as many, and mushy bits inside, senses, slobber, and a passion for hunting rabbits? Fed with meats, vegetables, fruits, and feces, hurt with same slippers, subject to same diarrhea, healed by s0me doctor, warmed and cooled by same winter and summer, as child arf?
If you …
Gerald, a cloned German terrorist, and a duck walked into a bar.
The Zombie that Lives within Us
The clone raised his hand. “Barmann, zwei bourbons, ‘neat’.”
The German and Gerald walked briskly side by side, circling the barroom and weaving around guests.
“What brings you into town?” the clone asked.
After circling a moving waitress several times, Gerald paused in front of the TV. “I’ve been hired by a wealthy client to investigate a …
Cornelius finds his career and marriage threatened by a filthy talking man.
Dr Zaius in Diary from Planet of the Apes
Day 15 in Year 1205 of Our Lawgiver
Dear Diary,
“What’s so special about him?” I asked, when Zira first showed me this Bright Eyes, or Taylor, as he insisted on being called.
Zira, I’m afraid, was lost in his brutish, animal magnetism from the moment he scribbled a few words in the dirt. …
