Category: My Questionable Point of View

2012 Election Forecast: Comeback Win for Whigs

Whigs Comeback Win in 2012
Comeback Win for Whigs in 2012

Not to be outdone by Nate Silver and other statistic-based pundits, I, Unpublished Guy, have done my own statistical analysis and developed a forecast for the election tomorrow. According to my forecast, there is a 110% chance that the Whig Party will make a comeback after 160 years out of power, winning the Presidency, Senate, and House. What will be the consequences?

The consequences will be dire. Our country …

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How Can I Make My Fiction More Unappealing?

Fiction Every Bit as Appealing as Protose
Fiction Every Bit as Appealing as Protose

Early in my fictional career as a literary writer, I established milestones that would build my confidence on my way to publishing success.

The first milestone: profoundly impact at least one person with my fiction. I achieved this milestone quickly. A short story that I had written for a creative writing workshop had profoundly affected one of my classmates. The short story, “Pendanticia, the Uncensored Adventures of a …

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Kucinich Loss a Blow Against Ineffectiveness

Kucinich Wins Like the French and the French fight like the Ferengi

Kucinich Wins Like the French and the French fight like the Ferengi

Long regarded as a heretic on Ferenginar, traditionalists celebrated the defeat of Dennis Kucinich on March 6th. The orthodox Ferengi despised Kucinich because he was a caring, passionate man who ineffectively pushed his principled agenda. He stood alone, speaking the truth about power and corruption on Ferenginar.

He was one of the few who truly and ineffectually represented the Birkenstock consumer and not …

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Open Letter to Santorum – Separation of Science and State

Dear Rick Santorum:

The Michigan primary is nearly upon us, and you have an urge to puke. Understandable, with the assault on religion by socialists and phony theologies. I’m afraid it gets much worse, Mr. Santorum. During the struggle between church and state, the spectre of science has been stealthily corrupting our youth, as it casts a fearsome shadow of rigorous, free thinking over public schools.

I believe in an America where the separation of …

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Fair Use for Fun and Profit

Copyright Gargoyle

Copyright Gargoyle

When is it OK to rip off copyrighted material? It all depends on the ambiguity of fair use. Difficult to define, but you know it when you see it. Here are some examples of fair use, as far as Unpublished Guy is concerned.

  • Schindler’s List reimagined as a slapstick comedy
  • Parody T-shirt of Aqua Teen Hunger Force drawn in the illustrative style of William Blake
  • Squids on a Wing Pt II
  • Kate Winslet’s
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I Had a Dream, a SOPA Dream

Look into the Abyss

I had a dream that SOPA would pass and the freedom to regulate would prevail.

I had a dream that my two grown children, living in my basement and the spare bedroom, would one day surf the Internets where they will not judge web pages by the color of their themes but by their lack of content.

I had a dream that books would be burned and e-book bytes would be …

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I Only Watch Movies When Kate Winslet is Naked

Naked Kate Winslet

Kate Winslet Naked

I only watch movies when Kate Winslet is naked. The first movie I saw was Titanic, then I saw Holy Smoke and Quills. I didn’t watch many movies for the next five years. I did watch Eternal Sunshine of the Mind, even though Kate Winslet wasn’t naked, and then I saw Little Children, in which she was naked in numerous positions. I haven’t seen The Reader, yet, in which Kate Winslet was …

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Better Than Herman Cain Deep Space 9-9-9 Tax Plan

This Guy's Taxes Will Increase under the Deep Space 9-9-9

Guldukat’s Taxes Will Increase under the Deep Space 9-9-9 Plan

Our current economic crisis calls for bold action to launch the economy and America into a rapidly accelerating and expanding universe of growth and greatness. The Deep Space 9-9-9 Plan reforms the tax code, unites the country, and ends class warfare as we know it, replacing it with a kinder, gentler class warfare without all the whining and moaning. Under this plan, the new …

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Yog-Sothoth and other Halloween Costume Rejects

A change of pace from catastrophic fiction to catastrophic Halloween costumes.

 Azathoth Costume and other Costumes Heralding My Doom

Yog-Sothoth Costume and other Costumes Heralding My Doom

I’ve often undertaken an ambitious fiction project with multiple themes and layers of meaning, the next Moby Dick, that instead ends up being the next unfinished, unpublished Atlas Shrugged. Likewise, I had several costume misadventures this year.

  1. First, inspired by the fluke man of X-Files fame, I thought I would be an anchovy man. Canned
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Literary Writing versus Technical Writing

So you’re waist-deep in a creative writing degree, when your half-baked plan to be a literary wonder stalls. Perhaps, you should have been a technical writer. People keep saying that technical writers are always in demand. Technical writing would certainly be a more practical career path.

I’ve created this handy chart to help you determine whether a degree switch is an order. If you already have that degree, the chart will help you determine whether …

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Literary Age of Books Ends with Borders Liquidation

What Books Remain after Borders Liquidation?

What Books Remain after Borders Liquidation?

With the liquidation and imminent demise of Borders Group, the streets of literary virtue are drenched with the blood of pedestrian interests. The buildings of communal story-telling burn with the fires of online isolation. The infants of literary genius are sacrificed on the altar of Walmart’s bargain books. A blights strikes at the heart and lungs of our nation’s spirit, community, and aspirations.

Without Borders bookstores, where will we …

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