Don’t Brainstorm, Practice Mental Proctology
I don’t like brainstorming. Brainstorming puts too much emphasis on thinking.
You can’t write a good book by thinking or using your brain in any way: You need to engage your rectalbrain, that is to say your true you. When you unplug your rectalbrain, you’ll be pulling stuff out of your ass, which is why I call my technique flushwriting. This is a relief-driven tool that I use constantly.
Flushwriting …
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Literary or popular fiction, which has the greater inferiority complex?
Literary fiction is a solipsistic mental patient, gazing at itself in a mirror. Very little is happening, except the internal churning of its little grey cells. Literary fiction demands center stage, simultaneously fascinating and repulsing the reader as its flesh is peeled away like layers of onion skin, revealing the bare bones of angst-ridden minimalism. It resides in the self-contained world where it presides over …
From crime drama TV, whether it be an OCD Monk or the latest schizophrenic, a great lesson can be learned about making memorable characters that seem real. Here are a few examples of different TV shows , courtesy of an alternate universe where all fish are herrings, that give a character a distinguishing feature.
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My dialogue is so alive and real, it has self esteem issues
Make your dialogue real by writing it exactly like a conversation, capturing the boring, repetitive, and inane. Don’t let exposition and long paragraphs of description get all the monotony accolades. Master dialogue that drones on and on, interspersed with ummms and yea.
Make your dialogue more real than real by writing entirely unlike a conversation. I’ve been engaged in some fairly robust girdling
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My proudest moment—working as an unqualified teacher sharing with uninspired youth my inability to write and publish. My teaching had a transitory impact on a few people.
Gift From My Writing Students
Many writer’s can’t live on what they publish. As an unpublished fiction writer, I have felt even greater pressure to generate alternate revenue streams. My teaching provided more than meager revenue and academic disrespect. I had many opportunities to connect with today’s youth …
I am not a monkey
Illiterary fiction excels at showing, showing with a profundity of adverbs and exceptional adjectives. Dictionary inspired descriptions that convey the most erudite worlds. With copious plot twists, illiterary fiction is surprisingly uninspiring.
Her face, bilious and choleric, she could not tell if the man looked bug eyed because she had told him the surprising news, or because he had big bug eyes. Otherwise, his face was vacant, vapid, and blank. …
Never use an adverb to modify dialogue. Don’t use words like ejaculate and vociferate. Even better: Completely unmodified dialogue.
“Where are you?”
“I’m over here.
“What are you doing over there?”
“My God, I’m full of methane.”
“Why don’t you come over here?”
“Alright, I’ll go over there.”
“Now, that you’re over here, I have something important to ask you.
“What’s that smell?”
“I don’t know. What do you want to do?”
“Doesn’t matter to …
It’s only a matter of time before self-publishing becomes the next traditional publishing, an outmoded, outdated form of publishing. You-publishing is the next wave of publishing. With you-publishing, you publish my novels and collections of short stories. You-publishing can be a smart choice for writers that are me. It’s cost-effective (for me) , low effort way for me to transition from the unpublished lifestyle. It costs much less than other methods of publishing, because you …
My weekly supply of adderal
A frenetic writing style that exposes the reader to a wide range of topics and rapid fire thoughts. The primary writing style of Kathy Acker. The fiction excerpt is a contemporary-crime-thriller-historical science fiction-literary romance.
Kim Jong-il is dead, and I like dogs. It’s better to eat dogs than pigs, because pigs are smarter. Bacon is tasty. Kittens are tasty. You shouldn’t keep chimps as pets. The rain forest is falling.
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Die technik des sandwich-making dramas
Like all great American novels, this novel will have numerous subplots, illustrated by the plot-lines diagram, including five thousand words devoted to a sandwich-making subplot in which a sandwich is systematically assembled and unassembled multiple times until the desired sandwich is achieved.…
