Category: Writing Craft Macaroni

Better Than Brainstorming

Don’t Brainstorm, Practice Mental Proctology

I don’t like brainstorming. Brainstorming puts too much emphasis on thinking.

You can’t write a good book by thinking or using your brain in any way: You need to engage your rectalbrain, that is to say your true you. When you unplug your rectalbrain, you’ll be pulling stuff out of your ass, which is why I call my technique flushwriting. This is a relief-driven tool that I use constantly.
Flushwriting …

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11 Ways to Avoid Writing


  1. Google “grammar rules semicolon”
  2. Google “writing the end of a story”
  3. Google “end of the world 2012″
  4. Google “2012 olympics”
  5. Google “nbc friday lineup”
  6. Google “friday night lights”
  7. Google “michael vick injury”
  8. Google “vicks vapor rub”
  9. Google “7 erotic back rubs”
  10. Google “The 7 Basic Universal Plots
  11. Google “How to overcome writer’s block”


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Literary Fiction and Popular Fiction, Psychoanalyzed

Sigmund Freud
Literary or popular fiction, which has the greater inferiority complex?

Literary fiction is a solipsistic mental patient, gazing at itself in a mirror. Very little is happening, except the internal churning of its little grey cells. Literary fiction demands center stage, simultaneously fascinating and repulsing the reader as its flesh is peeled away like layers of onion skin, revealing the bare bones of angst-ridden minimalism. It resides in the self-contained world where it presides over …

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Crime Drama Herring and Memorable Fiction Characters

Crime Drama and Fiction Characters

From crime drama TV, whether it be an OCD Monk or the latest schizophrenic, a great lesson can be learned about making memorable characters that seem real. Here are a few examples of different TV shows , courtesy of an alternate universe where all fish are herrings, that give a character a distinguishing feature.

  1. In Plain Sight is a dramatic TV series that revolves around an FBI agent with an intuitive ability to grasp the
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Dialogue as Instructed by Unpublished Guy

My dialogue is so alive and real, it has self esteem issues

Make your dialogue real by writing it exactly like a conversation, capturing the boring, repetitive, and inane. Don’t let exposition and long paragraphs of description get all the monotony accolades. Master dialogue that drones on and on, interspersed with ummms and yea.

Make your dialogue more real than real by writing entirely unlike a conversation. I’ve been engaged in some fairly robust girdling

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Dialogue Writing Tip for the Hyperliterate

Never use an adverb to modify dialogue. Don’t use words like ejaculate and vociferate. Even better: Completely unmodified dialogue.

“Where are you?”
“I’m over here.
“What are you doing over there?”
“My God, I’m full of methane.”
“Why don’t you come over here?”
“Alright, I’ll go over there.”
“Now, that you’re over here, I have something important to ask you.
“What’s that smell?”
“I don’t know. What do you want to do?”
“Doesn’t matter to …

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8 Creative Writing Tips to Slow Write Your Story into Oblivion

My credo, divorced from reality: Don’t brag about your lightning fiction writing pace, for Slow and Steady won the fiction publishing race.
My credo, divorced from reality:
Don’t brag about your lightning fiction writing pace,
for Slow and Steady won the fiction publishing race.

I recently read an online article on “Book Writing Tips to Speed Write Your Book for Maximum Sales Sooner”. It inspired me to write my own article on writing habits.

It’s all about the journey and not the destination, they say. I’ve taken that to heart in the fiction writing arena. I enjoy …

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Fiction Font Selection

One of the most important things, as any unpublished writer knows, is what font to select as their default font while they write their fiction. Some writers don’t even use a word processor. They use a text editor, so they aren’t distracted from their writing with such trivial decisions as font selection. I say, “Nonsense. If you are going to invest all the time and effort into writing a short story, shouldn’t it be typeset …

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The Mashed Potato Method of Writing a Fiction Story

As I have mentioned before, the downfall of my past fiction efforts has been an overly designed approach. I have written and completed a handful of short fiction stories using this approach, and some of them have turned out OK; however, I have not yet published a fiction story.

Recently I was inspired by Richard Dreyfus, and decided that I would create my own method of writing fiction (short story or novel), the Mashed

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Art of Fiction – Style and Craft

Way back when I was more earnestly learning the craft of writing, I was reading through several different books on writing fiction. Almost immediately, I felt that I was reading the same book over and over again. It was if they were all cribbing from the same set of Cliff Notes. Show don’t tell. Give your characters a distinctive trait.

Art of Fiction: Notes on Craft for Young Writers was different, both philosophical and practical. …

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