I'm short by about 4200 pixels on this resolution.
I've got 11 more writing and publishing resolutions.

Happy New Year Everyone! (A day late, I know, and I just used up my lifetime allotment of exclamation points.)

The New Year is the time to make hopeful, unrealistic resolutions. Here are eleven of mine in a very specific order, that of importance, as follows: 6,7,2,4,9,10,11,1,8,3,5.

1. Publish short stories in the August 2010 issues of Paris Review, The New Yorker, and Ploughshares.
2. Write and publish a sequel to Gilgamesh in the ancient Sumerian language. Even greater action than the original—with more explosions and chariot chases.
3. Compose a literarily significant villanelle about my pit bull, Fargo.
4. Write and publish a free verse poem in iambic pentameter in which William Shakespeare is not human at all but actually a genderless life force from Alpha Centauri.
5. Write 30,000 one-word nano-fiction stories and publish them in a 90,000 page collection of short stories. Each story, of course, will require a 3-page discussion of my approach and how I came about with the idea to write that particular story, including funny anecdotes and philosophically penetrating insight into the human condition.
6. Occupy six of the top 5 spots in the New York Times hard cover fiction book list.
7. Win the Science Fiction Writers of the Future contest, becoming a published writer and living an engram-free life as an operating Thetan.
8. Begin devoting my life to writing Land of the Lost fan fiction and publishing it online to make the world a better place.
9. Develop a back story to an alternate reality universe for a series of novellas that I plan to publish in 2011. The universe is exactly the same as this universe, except Stephen King won the Nobel Prize for Literature based on his canon of historical fiction novels about
10. Wash my car and vacuum the floor mats.
11. Drive through the US, visiting the homes of authors, such as Dan Brown, Danielle Steele, Sue Grafton, and Mitch Albom and provide them with brutally honest but constructive criticism on how they can improve their fiction. Specifically, suggest that Mitch Albom change his last name to Albion, because it would add heft and gravity to his brand name as a writer.

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• Land of the Lost Marathon
• July Novel Writing Month