Tag: publishing fiction

Forget Self-Publishing. You-Publishing is the Future of Publishing

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It’s only a matter of time before self-publishing becomes the next traditional publishing, an outmoded, outdated form of publishing. You-publishing is the next wave of publishing. With you-publishing, you publish my novels and collections of short stories. You-publishing can be …

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Metafictional Allegory, or Not, You Did Not Write Moby Dick

Dear Unpublished Guy:

I usually don’t respond to the pathetic pleas of a person who has made the misplaced presumption that they are a writer. As I indicated in my initial communication, your submission exceeded our gazette’s word count by …

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Kitten Eater

Dear Unpublished Guy:

 

Do you actually think kittens are tasty? Judging by the short story you submitted to our journal, you must have dined exclusively on kittens for many years. To call your submission fiction would be inaccurate. In …

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11 Moments for the Unpublished Writer

Moments that grip, surprise, twist, amuse, frighten, and seduce have no business in fiction. The unpublishable writer must consider half-baked, haphazard moments. The story won’t elevate to the level of unreadable unless it’s stuffed full of these moments.

  • The moment
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I Was a Teenage Clone

He was a high school biology teacher working on a special science project.

Book Cover - I Was a Teenage Clone

Book Cover – I Was a Teenage Clone

I Was a Teenage Clone tells the story of Mr. Landon, a biology teacher at the local high school …

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Happy People

Dear Ms Unpublished Guy:

We were dismayed that your short story title, Happy People, had not intended to be ironic. The gratuitous acts of good will were truly appalling. We have never before read a story that contained so …

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Chip

Chip is just like you or me. A blue, frosty complexion. He had chocolate drop eyes and a vanilla wafer tongue. But something made Chip different.

Book Cover - Chip

Book Cover – Chip

This is the incredible story of a pastry chef with …

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Story Setting – The Town of Romulus

Setting of My Story Mapped

The Setting of My Story Mapped

A sleepy, bucolic setting, as is the case in many towns in the heartland, Romulus is located on the Mississippi/Georgia Border. The population was 1885 in the 2010 census. The town was founded by …

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Ambrose Bierce Wormhole Western Free Verse Epic Villanelle

Dear Unpublished Guy:

In response to your book proposal:

We applaud your effort to write a free verse epic villanelle. However, as is clearly stated in our submission guidelines we don’t accept Ambrose Bierce Wormhole Westerns. Clearly, the epic …

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Invitation to Raise The Debt Ceiling

Invitation to Raise the Debt Ceiling

A Book Unpublished by Me – Invitation to Raise the Debt Ceiling

Cincinnatus C is under sentence of death for an ambiguous, unspoken capital crime. He knows exactly when he will die—tomorrow, when he will hang. Sitting in his small …

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