Rejection Letter: My Beetle, My Love

Dear Individual,

Thank you for submitting your fiction to Screw You magazine.

We enjoy reading so many fine short stories, and selecting the fiction to publish can be a difficult decision. So difficult that we often need to read submissions multiple times. We very much appreciate having the opportunity to read such high quality fiction. We were really impressed with the latest batch of submitted stories.

However, your short story, “My Beetle, My Love”, was the exception. Your story was so dreadfully boring that we discarded it immediately. Your decision to write an erotic story from the perspective of a dung beetle was questionable, to say the least.

Please refrain from submitting additional short stories to our publication.

Best Regards,
Merkin Muffley, Editor