Abstractly Erotic Banter

Just put it in there.

There. Really? Are you sure?

Yes, do it.



Ouch, too hard.

Wait a minute. Let me get the thing on. 

Nope I lost it.

What happened?

I suck.

It's not you. It's me. Or the weather. Look, now, it's back.

I can't even tell if you like any of this or not. You're so quiet.

I like it. 

You don't act like it.

I don't think you're giving me enough credit for how emotive I am being, given my generally nonexpressive personality.

I'm still here, you two. 

Of course, you are, you never let us forget it.

I feel left out. Sometimes, I think you guys aren't really into me at all. That you just barely tolerate me enough to include me.

Who are you calling guys?

I call everyone guys. 

We're not all guys.

I know that. I'm using guys in the gender neutral sense.

Of course you would. I reject that male-as-default paradigm.

See that's what I'm talking about. I can't do anything right. Even last time, when I used that jar of blueberry syrup, everyone acted like they were having a good time.

It was sensually tasty.

Well, for the next week, all I heard about was how sticky it was and what stuck to who and blah, blah, blah, complain, complain, complain.

It was sticky.

Everyone seemed to think it was a good idea at the time.

Speaking of good and bad ideas, what do you plan on doing with that thing?

This thing is great, it's multi-purpose.

Which one of the purposes do you plan on doing with it right now?

This one right here.

OK, I like that, but be careful, I don't want to tear anything. Remember what happened last time when things got too rough.

I already said I was sorry about that.

Wait a minute. I don't remember that.

You weren't there.

What?! I knew you were cheating on me with each other.

Chill out, you're really bringing us down. This is supposed to be fun. You're here now aren't you.

Here, would it make you feel better if I we had some fun over here.

It sure would?

Are you sure those hooks can support all of our weight?

It sure will.

Well, OK then.

Now, isn't this so much better for everyone?

It sure is. It's absolutely amazing.

Hmm. I'm starting to feel a little dizzy.