You Did Not Write Moby Dick

Dear Unpublished Guy:

I usually don’t respond to the pathetic pleas of a person who has made the misplaced presumption that they are a writer. As I indicated in my initial communication, your submission exceeded our gazette’s word count by a magnitude of 100. Perhaps more to the point, you submitted the novel, Moby Dick, copied verbatim.

Yours truly,
The Editors