On this holiday, we give thanks to Davros, our creator, and have assembled this fine feast before us.

The turkey, so stupid that it will drown as it looks up into the sky when it rains, it’s mouth agape, stupidly drooling, as its profoundly stupid gullet overflows with water. An inferior life form. Exterminate the turkey! We have exterminated it.

The sweet potato, devoid of any ambition to be become more than a sweet potato. Just vegetating with no sense of agency, free will, or dreams of universal domination. Content to simply be a sweet potato and nothing more. An inferior life form. Exterminate the sweet potato! We have exterminated it!

Stuffing, a parasitic melange of fungus and vegetation that lives through a symbiotic relationship with dead turkeys. Without the turkey, it is a dry, uninteresting mound of incomprehensible carbohydrates. A dependent leech on society. It is inferior. Exterminate the stuffing! It has been exterminated.

Corn. Totally lacking in any nutritional value. It passes straight through you. Really just a butter delivery system. You might as well just eat a stick of butter. Not worth eating, and as ethanol, a subsidized industry that exists mainly to appease the first state of the presidential primaries. And it’s not even a primary, but a caucus. This obnoxious bane diverts funds from more efficient use of agricultural land and alternative fuels to reduce greenhouse emissions. Not that we care that much, as a deranged brained housed in the most unwieldy cyborg body ever, but whatever. Inferior, nonetheless. Exterminate corn! The corn has been exterminated.

Green beans. The most vegetable of the vegetables. So smug and smarmy with their healthy, nutritional value. They think they are so great, but they might as well be a sweet potato for all they’ve accomplished in the world. Has a green bean ever unlocked the mysteries of the atom? Discovered time travel? Developed cyborg bodies that are just so cool, even if stairs may prove to be a bit of a challenge. Nope. Inferior life form. Exterminate the green beans! They have been exterminated.

Cranberry sauce. Who likes cranberry sauce? Only the lunatics and feeble minded can consume cranberries in a non-dried-out form. Unless it’s from a can. Cranberry sauce from a can embodies the classic and traditional images of the Dalek shell. A sexy life form. Please pass the cranberry sauce.